Living With Your “Bae”

I know that “shacking up” has a somewhat negative connotation in certain cultures, particularly amongst African American women, but more young people are ignoring the stigma and moving in with their significant others nowadays. After four years of dating my then-boyfriend/now-fiancé, I “officially” became one of those people last summer.


My fiancé and I started dating when we were twenty and twenty-one year olds in college. At that time, we both had our own apartments (with roommates) and we lived an hour apart from one another because we were attending universities in different cities. For most of the time that we were in college, I drove to his apartment every weekend and spent the weekends with him. So I lived at my apartment for five days out of the week and at his for two days. Different circumstances and deciding that we didn’t want roommates anymore led to him staying at my apartment for a few months and then me staying at his apartment for a few months, but we were never on a lease together and we never paid bills together until now. Continue reading

Milestones: I’m Moving!!!

I’m moving in with my boyfriend in less than 30 days!

I’m excited, super ready and a little bit anxious all at the same time.

We have sort of lived together before. In college we basically took turns “living” at each other’s apartment rent free. So this time around we will both be paying rent and we’ll both be legally and financially responsible for the apartment.

Throughout the time when we were “kind of living together” we worked out all the kinks that couples have to deal with when they live together for the first time. So I’m looking forward to moving in this time without having to go through that “I love him, but I hate his habits” awkward stage. We’re kind of past the point where we argue about putting the toilet seat down and not pushing your chair in. Been there, done that.

This time I expect smooth sailing as long as we can keep it together financially. And the finances are what I’m anxious about. I have to be on a budget for the first time ever. We, as a couple, have to rely on one another financially for the first time ever. We both have full time permanent jobs so we should be ok but money is like one of the biggest problems for the average couple so we’ll see how it goes. But for now, I’m feeling optimistic about everything.

Shopping for the apartment has been awesome and fun. It’s been expensive too. Overall, I’m having a good time searching through all the home decor sections of various stores. But I’m ready to be done buying things for the apartment, so I can relax and enjoy living in it. I don’t like when things are a work in progress so I’m going to try to get the apartment completely decorated by the end of September.

Wish me (us) luck!