Wedding planning can be very stressful for some brides but the level of stress can reach a climax during the actual weekend that the wedding is to take place. As I approach my two month anniversary, I would like to give brides seven tips that I feel are essential and will help you get through one of the most important days of your life.

People will call you to say they aren’t coming and/or may tell you that they are bringing an extra person that you weren’t expecting.

Try not to let the news affect your mood one way or another. If someone says they won’t be able to make it, let them know that they’ll be missed and move along. If someone surprises you with an extra guest that they are bringing, try not to freak out. Just smile and say something along the lines of “that’s great.” At this point it’s probably too late to adjust seating anyway, so just don’t worry about it. Let your wedding coordinator and/or venue handle this one.Both of these things happened to me the day before my wedding and while everyone was freaking out around me (parents, husband, etc.), I just had to tell myself that it’s not my problem. I knew I had an amazing wedding coordinator and that she and her staff would be able to handle such issues.

There will be no shows.

The open seats we had at our wedding were mostly people that had gotten in touch with us the day prior to our wedding to let us know that they wouldn’t be attending. But we did have a few who just no showed. I didn’t really notice or care on the big day. You can’t take these things too personal. I gave everyone the benefit of the doubt and we did hear from a few people after the fact. So we aren’t holding any grudges against anyone for being unable to make it.

You won’t get gifts from everyone.

No one is obligated to give you a gift but it’s always nice and most people do not show up emptyhanded. However, there will be a few who do and if you know your crowd, then you should know who is likely to give a gift and who isn’t. The ultimate gift is your guest being there to celebrate with you so it shouldn’t matter if you get gifts, but try not to let the abundance or lack of gifts affect you.

People will be late.

We had about ten or so guests who were late to our ceremony and were not allowed to be on the lawn with us. A lot of weddings do not start on time so I understand how some people can feel like they have some leeway, but we started at 5:00 on the dot. So, anyone who came at 5:01 was SOL and had to watch us from the patio.

Do a bridal portrait session.

I opted not to have a portrait session and I really wish I had. So I don’t have solo pictures of me in my wedding dress which is kind of a bummer. So all of my post-wedding profile pictures are of me and my husband. It wasn’t something that I thought I needed but hindsight is always 20/20.

Don’t sweat the small stuff.

I had an usher show up in the wrong color suit and shoes. I had a bridesmaid who had issues with her shoes so she had to go get another pair on the day of the wedding. There was a miscommunication with the makeup artist and she showed up later than we expected. I forgot to have my seamstress cut the corset strings on my dress (they literally touched the floor). All of these things were things that I knew had gone “wrong”, but nobody else even noticed. No one noticed because these things don’t really matter. The little details that you put a lot of thought into are important to an extent, but no one is going to check to see that all of your bridesmaids have the same shoes on.

As long as you have your groom, your officiant, and your marriage license… everything will be fine.

These are the things that actually matter and make the day special. Your family and friends are there to see you get married. Without the marriage, the day wouldn’t be important at all. The only things that can impede your nuptials is the absence of one of those three things. When things went awry throughout my wedding weekend, I asked myself “does this affect whether or not you can get married?” and if the answer was “no”, I shrugged it off. If you keep that mentality, the little things will not affect your day as much.