One Year As An Angel…

“I fought for you. The hardest, it made me the strongest.

So tell me your secrets, I just can’t stand to see you leaving.

But heaven couldn’t wait for you…”

– Beyoncé, “Heaven”

Today marks the one year anniversary of Zoey’s death. It feels like it was just yesterday when I returned home from my vacation in Miami to the news that Zoey most likely wouldn’t make it through the night. She had been sick and unable to walk for about a month by then so I knew that we would have to part ways by the end of the year… But I wasn’t ready on May 28th. I still cry about missing her; I think the last time was in late March or early April. I still talk about her, think about her and look at pictures of her. Actually, her picture is still on the lock screen of my iPhone. But don’t get it twisted, I have come to terms with her death and I did that a long time ago. I’m just grateful that I had her in my life for seven amazing years. I learned so much about being selfless and putting someone else’s needs before my own from taking care of her. I know for a fact that I would not be as equipped to love and take care of a child (or anyone else) if I had not had Zoey in my life. Of course I still miss Zoey, but more importantly, I still love her and I appreciate the time I had with her and the lessons learned/memories made during that time. I’m not one of those people who tries to forget that someone died and never talk about them again when they are gone. That’s why I still talk about Zoey as much as I do. I don’t want to forget how she felt, how she smelled, or how good she made me feel. I do what I can to keep her memory alive. I love you. I miss you.